Mooshack

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Good news and more good news.

How about a quick update about me? Yes, how about this, on March 1st I got a promotion at work! Was it a big one? Well, not so much a promotion in status (although it was a small one), but more importantly a little more jingle in my pants (and all guys love more jingle in their pants, yes that was a double entendre).

News item #2, I was presented with a career change! It's a new job with my same company, only I'll be moving to Texas next year (only for a year though!). I like Texas, so that's not bad and I'll be getting more cash, also, not bad. In five years time I hope to be able to double my income and triple my responsibility. I'm not sure that is a good deal, but I never was good at math.

Last but not least, how shall I put this? I've been getting fat. I finally hit 240 pounds, which I think is my heaviest weight ever. I think I was 238ish one time in late 1997, but either way, I got fat. What have I done about it? Well the last month and a half since I posted, I've been working out and eating like a damn rabbit. I'm down to about 208 (32 pounds for those of you who are counting) and I feel better. No, that's a lie. I look better, but I sure do miss my lazy lifestyle and great food.

I guess when I get down to my goal weight of 195, I'll start eating some real food again. Unfortunately, I'll have to keep up with the exercise I've been doing, but I guess that will help me live longer so it's not all bad.

Inside Man.

Chris and I finally went to the movies again. The result is a movie review of the movie Inside Man. Before you click, I will warn you, he gives away a few lines and possible spoilers for this great movie.

Enjoy and remember to thank Chris when you see him (either for being an anti-racist, or for writing funny reviews).

Everyone relax, I'm not dead.

Where the heck have I been? Well, on http://www.somethingawful.com/ I Posted a crazy story about my pinky finger. Read it at the Feb 15th post below if you haven't already. After I posted my story, I got 50,000, that's right 50,000 hits to my website from SA. This caused quit a bit of problems to my poor little website that is use to only getting about 10 people a day. Anyway, long story short, I got offers of help (money and otherwise), offers to move in with people to avoid my imminent death, and much, much ridicule. What I also got was a breach of my bandwidth with caused me to shift over to my free blog and not post after awhile. If you read my story, here is the real scoop (which was posted on SA last month):

"I was going to post that I'm not a compulsive liar, but then I thought back on when I first went to the hospital... I told the doctors and nurses that I broke my pinkie in the Maryland State Nose Picking Championships....

It was the final round, me and Sausage Hole were going in deep, suddenly my index cramped up and I went to my ring as the reserve. There, there was a deep, stuck, little one I couldn't reach. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sausage Hole pulling out his last big booger, the one that would likely put him over the edge. I couldn't let that happen. With all my might, I jammed my pinkie in as deep as it would go while praying to the god that helps those by mistake to allow me to get that winning booger. That's when I heard the crack. Result? Second place and a dislocated pinkie.

That's one story. What did I tell my friends? I was with a new girl, she liked it rough. I had given her all I could. I was tired. It was clear that all I could, was not enough. I decided to go for The Shocker, but I knew this girl could easily take it. She didn't need, nor want The Shocker, she wanted, The Xtra Shocker (my name on SA is XtraSmiley). Being the Xtra kind of guy I am, I decided to go for it. Turns out, I wasn't as "Xtra" as I though. This involves such rapid and intense movements, that my poor little "For the Stink" couldn't keep up. It just gave way to the overwhelming weight of the buttock. Crack. I left part of my fingernail in the battle field that day...

What did I tell my SA Goon buddies? Well, they needed a good story to turn their stomachs a bit. So I took an hour and came up with one. I'm glad some of you enjoyed.

What really happened? Fucking basketball game. THIS, THIS is why I don't do sports (I do gamble like a nut though). Yes it hurt. Yes I have a job. Yes, I guess I am a compulsive liar, but it was for all the right reasons!"

Well, that's it, now you know. I'm fine and I don't have a gambling problem, thanks for asking!