Due to recent suffering...
I've found God. This is what I recently read in a profile of an OKC girl who's Bi. OK, first I want to point out something, I too found God due to recent suffering as well.
Turns out the bastard was under my bed, and here I thought I had to flip the mattress due to a bad spring.
Second point, baby you're Bi, God's not down with Bi chicks (or dudes). Why? Well at the risk of flaming up the entire female population of OKC, it's b/c you can't, can not, no way, just can't trust someone who is Bi.
What is this? Have I gone crazy? Is this some bullshit urban legend that Snopes needs to debunk? No, not at all. It's simple, plain logic. See if you can follow.
If you are straight, you have a potential mate pool of 50% of the population. Now, I really believe that the more people you meet in your life the odds of you having more partners and people to fall in love/lust with will be greater. OK, now take a gay/lesbo person, the pool still sits at 50%. See where I'm going with this?
Many Bi chicks tend to be sexually liberal, and although I find nothing to be wrong with this in and of itself, the problem is, as much as I like whores and strippers and ice cream, these are just things you cannot trust. Why the fuck is Pistachio green anyway? The actual nut is cream colored. Point set match I think.
Back on topic, does God hate Bi sexuals because they are, uh, free lovers? No of course not, odds are this is a plus, but God needs full devotion from his/her subjects. Can someone who is so willy nilly with their love provide such devotion? Someone, who can at anytime fall out of love with bearded hippy guy and jump ship to that hot blue chick from India with the extra arms (not to mention extra hands, which have the extra fingers)? I'll leave that up for you to decide, unless you are Bi, in which case, I'm watching you.
Turns out the bastard was under my bed, and here I thought I had to flip the mattress due to a bad spring.
Second point, baby you're Bi, God's not down with Bi chicks (or dudes). Why? Well at the risk of flaming up the entire female population of OKC, it's b/c you can't, can not, no way, just can't trust someone who is Bi.
What is this? Have I gone crazy? Is this some bullshit urban legend that Snopes needs to debunk? No, not at all. It's simple, plain logic. See if you can follow.
If you are straight, you have a potential mate pool of 50% of the population. Now, I really believe that the more people you meet in your life the odds of you having more partners and people to fall in love/lust with will be greater. OK, now take a gay/lesbo person, the pool still sits at 50%. See where I'm going with this?
Many Bi chicks tend to be sexually liberal, and although I find nothing to be wrong with this in and of itself, the problem is, as much as I like whores and strippers and ice cream, these are just things you cannot trust. Why the fuck is Pistachio green anyway? The actual nut is cream colored. Point set match I think.
Back on topic, does God hate Bi sexuals because they are, uh, free lovers? No of course not, odds are this is a plus, but God needs full devotion from his/her subjects. Can someone who is so willy nilly with their love provide such devotion? Someone, who can at anytime fall out of love with bearded hippy guy and jump ship to that hot blue chick from India with the extra arms (not to mention extra hands, which have the extra fingers)? I'll leave that up for you to decide, unless you are Bi, in which case, I'm watching you.
posted by Mohammad at
5:41 PM
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