Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Your friends let you down big time. Have I done it before? Yes, but I don't think it was on purpose and I sure as hell have never kicked a friend when they were down. If I value their friendship I'll ask for forgiveness. That's what friends do and a good friend will forgive.

When someone knocks you down, then kicks you and then expects YOU to crawl back?

That's not a fucking friend.

Someone who sees this take place and tries to blame you for it?

That's not a fucking friend.

It would seem like I lost a few friends this month, but not really, turns out I didn't have friends to begin with.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I'll keep this...

Short. One of my ex girlfriends is pissing me off right now. My feelings are actually hurt and I can't do anything but lash out. I realize this is not the way to handle anything, but it's all I have right now. There is no way to fix this situation and I think that is what I am so mad at. Oh well, at least red hot burning anger lets me know I'm alive.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'm a selfish...

Asshole. Or at least that is what an ex of mine and some girls I recently banged are trying to claim. My first instinct was, to agree with it completely. I AM a selfish asshole. I mean, I have been single and have been having sex with random women, my ex-girlfriends and even that little kid from Indiana Jones 2 all the while making no commitments and bragging about it up and down the East Coast.

The whole time I've just been enjoying myself (mostly, Asian penises are tilted to the side which hurts more) and only concerned about my own feelings.

Based on this I think it could be argued that I'm selfish, but an asshole? It seems the two go hand in hand at times, but I have to stop you right there. A selfish asshole would be having sex with the above and telling them anything they wanted to hear to do so, thus making the person not just selfish, but an asshole in the process.

See the difference? No, then bear with me while I explain this out a little further. Yes I may have been acting selfish the last few weeks, but, since I was totally honest with these women (and little Short Round) about my motives (cock in hole action, no strings attached) wasn't I giving them a chance to make up their own minds about it? Don't think to hard, the answer is YES! These women KNEW what I was about long before the mediocre sex acts took place. They CHOSE to do them with me because of their OWN SELFISH reasons. Am I right? THEY are the selfish ones because they knew what I was all about, they went through with it anyway and now they are annoying the shit out of me with all their whining. It seems to me like they are being the selfish assholes.

Some of them were clearly mad at themselves for what they had done and decided to take it out on me. Now I'm pissed AND inconvenienced, I mean when women start getting bitchy, it gets harder and harder to sleep with them. Not to mention the fact that I've run out of people from Indy movies that are Asian.

Christ, one of my friends actually suggested I put myself in the ladies' shoes (I guess she doesn't give a shit about Short Round) and try to understand their feelings. I told her, what the fuck is the point? I haven't fucked any chicks that wear a size 13 shoe (other than that one in South Carolina, but she might have had a penis at one point), you know what I mean?

Who's life is most important in the world? Mine, that's who (that mine should be read as "mine"). That is right, everyone is looking out for themselves in the world right? You start trying to take care of other people and they WILL fuck you in the end. History is full of examples; Ronald McDonald, Jesse Jackson, Neil Cavuto, the chicks who were cheated on by Sam "Mayday" Malone, I could fucking do this all day.

The Point is that YOU have to look out for YOU. Not to mention you sure as fuck shouldn't take being called a selfish asshole because only someone who is concerned about their own feelings above yours would use a hurtful term like that which means, you guessed it, FUCK THEM!

Due to recent suffering...

I've found God. This is what I recently read in a profile of an OKC girl who's Bi. OK, first I want to point out something, I too found God due to recent suffering as well.

Turns out the bastard was under my bed, and here I thought I had to flip the mattress due to a bad spring.

Second point, baby you're Bi, God's not down with Bi chicks (or dudes). Why? Well at the risk of flaming up the entire female population of OKC, it's b/c you can't, can not, no way, just can't trust someone who is Bi.

What is this? Have I gone crazy? Is this some bullshit urban legend that Snopes needs to debunk? No, not at all. It's simple, plain logic. See if you can follow.

If you are straight, you have a potential mate pool of 50% of the population. Now, I really believe that the more people you meet in your life the odds of you having more partners and people to fall in love/lust with will be greater. OK, now take a gay/lesbo person, the pool still sits at 50%. See where I'm going with this?

Many Bi chicks tend to be sexually liberal, and although I find nothing to be wrong with this in and of itself, the problem is, as much as I like whores and strippers and ice cream, these are just things you cannot trust. Why the fuck is Pistachio green anyway? The actual nut is cream colored. Point set match I think.

Back on topic, does God hate Bi sexuals because they are, uh, free lovers? No of course not, odds are this is a plus, but God needs full devotion from his/her subjects. Can someone who is so willy nilly with their love provide such devotion? Someone, who can at anytime fall out of love with bearded hippy guy and jump ship to that hot blue chick from India with the extra arms (not to mention extra hands, which have the extra fingers)? I'll leave that up for you to decide, unless you are Bi, in which case, I'm watching you.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Someone poor...

Must have said, money can't buy happiness because for a week I sure felt fucking great. I just got back from Nice and man was it nice.

OK, had to get that out of my system. Anyway after being in the land of Ferraris and Lambos (actually that was two years ago in Italy, but bear with me) and the mega rich who can afford to spend $750,000 on a freaking watch, I must say, MY LIFE SUCKS! I thought I was doing OK, you know, living in a house with a full time job and all (considering half the guys on here can't make a buck and live with mom) but after going to Cannes, I feel like shit.

Lately my life hasn't been going the best, moving to a place I hate, doing a job I hate, hating a girl I hate so on and so forth. Anyway, yeah spending a week in France not only was great, but it was like a serious heroin high, you feel great for a short burst, but now, back to my place in the world, I need another hit.

Not only do I want to go back to France, I want to live the high life. What kind of bullshit post is this? I don't know. Any rich women in France want to take me in? I do dishes...

Final Fantasy...

One of my favorite RPGs, well at least it use to be before it got "hip" and all the modern kiddies play and dress up like them. At first this post was going to be about how much I hate the fact that Nerd and Geek has become so mainstream that fucking Hot Topic has Transformers T-Shirts, but instead I think I'll post that a Persian made Final Fantasy 1-3. That is fucking cool as shit.

As an Iranian (-American you asses), I feel like anytime I hear of one of my peeps doing something great, I feel a little bit of pride. Like the fact that the first civilian Female to pay for a ride in space was an Iranian. That is cool, but finding out that the guy who programed the best of the FF series was Iranian? That fucking rules!

How does this make my life any better? It really doesn't, but just as people cheer for their home-town sports teams, even though they couldn't throw a football across their yards, I likewise cheer on my fellow Iranian, Persians if you will, even though I couldn't code myself out of a paper bag, even a virtual one.

I'm going to start posting again.

Sort of.  I've been posting some shit in my journal over at and I figure no one even looks at that shit, so I might as well cross post my super witty, fun to read, awesome writing.  Right?  Right.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Rip Van Wrinkle

So the last week or so of my class here in Texas has been pretty tough.  I had a hard time with the next to last class and had to repeat a portion of it.  This would be the first time ever I had to repeat something and I took it pretty hard.  Not to mention the fact that my job said if I didn't pass it a second time I could look for a new job.  Though standards huh?  Anyway, about 1/3 of my class (five people) ended up taking it again, with only three of us making it.  

I'd take this time to wish the two ladies the best of luck in their new job hunt.  It certainly wasn't fair, but life rarely is.

Anyway, as you could guess, I like my job and especially the paycheck that comes with it so the pressure was on to do well on the test retake.  I'll save you the suspense and tell you that not only did I do excellent, I did better than the instructors had seen on some sections ever during their time teaching it.  But that is not what this post is about.

Pain in the neck.  Because of the mishap of the last week as I like to call it, I'm stuck here an extra few weeks due to missing my original day to move my things.  The movers will be back in about 3 weeks then I can hit the road.  The good news is that it doesn't really affect me to much, the bad news is that I'm still going to Georgia.  The point I am trying to make though is that it has been a whole lot of stress dealing with it all.  The pressure of possibly losing my job, the pressure of rearranging all of my dates to get out of here and the overall embarrassment of having to wait an extra three days to get my training certificate.  All of these things (plus a few more I have not mentioned) have caused me stress.  What has the stress caused?  A literal pain in the neck.

I woke up about ten days ago with a killer stiff neck.  I've had them before from sleeping wrong or cold air blowing on my neck or whatever.  You wake up and your damn neck is sore.  Usually it is gone in about three to four days.  Not this one, nope.  It was eight days later and it was still waking me up in the middle of the night.  I decided enough was enough and went to see the Doc.

He says that the neck is most definitely f'ed up and I need to stretch it and take muscle relaxants.  The only problem he says is that they will cause drowsiness.  Drowsiness?  On my first celebratory weekend?  No way, not me, I'm to happy not to party.

Uh, yeah right.  I took one of these things at four PM on Saturday and next thing I know it is 6 AM on Sunday and my phone has a bunch of texts from my friends wondering where I am so we can go out.

Also, King George is no longer in power and the American Revolution has taken place.

Monday, September 03, 2007

I can't stop laughing at it!

An otter was sitting on the bank of the euphrates river doing his ottery things when a scorpion scurries up to him:

Hey you think you could you ferry me to the other bank?

The otter replies: nah, you'll probably just sting me.

But if I sting you we'll both drown.

The otter thinks for a moment and agrees to ferry the scorpion.

They get to the middle of the river and the scorpion stings the otter.

Why the fuck did you do that? the otter yells, now we both drown!

And the scorpion goes: ALLAHU ACKBAR!

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Captian Morgan Rum

Is no longer my favorite spiced rum. I have discovered (why didn't I have this before?) Sailor Jerry Rum. Man this stuff is good. I've been drinking it tonight with my Coke Zero and have since switched to sipping it off the rocks.

So sweet, yet just right. The Captian has to step down for the Sailor. Don't worry, I won't make him walk the plank, there's always room for a Captian on my ship, but sailors are more welcome now... huh, that sounds kind of, uh never mind.

By the way every time you click a link, I do a shot.

My friend Spider Girl

Has changed her blog address to and it only took me a little over a year to fix it on my links on the side.

Of course I see she has killed my link on her blog. If she even had one. Pssft!

The King of Kong

It's a three day weekend and this special documentary about the world champion Donkey Kong player and a challenger is getting fantastic reviews on In fact, some are calling it the movie of the year, yeah, all year.

Well, I love movies, I love video games, I love documentaries. Sounds like I have a movie to watch. The movie is only playing in 7 cities across America. Austin being one of those cities. Austin is only 3 hours from me, so I said what the hell, I'll drive 6 hours, see a movie (a great movie) and party hard in one of America's best college towns.

Long story short, I didn't go, but I did see the movie. Don't ask me how, I'd have to kill you.

Best movie of the year? Yes. I can't do a full review because I'm at home playing Guitar Hero and Donkey Kong, but the urge to blog just hit me and that is what I am doing in between sets of Holey Diver on hard.

Some have called this movie a classic David vs Goliath story, but I know that facts and attitudes were edited a certain way to give it more of that flare than really happened, I would say that if Michale Moore saw this movie he would be proud, then he's sue for "style infringement".

Anyway, I digress. This is, even with the shady edit job, one of the best movies of they year. Even if you don't like video games one bit I guarantee this movie will have something for you. The challenger to the title, Steve Wiebe, is an every day man and his passion as well as his feelings will resonate with you. The champion, Billy Mitchell, comes off as one shady, arrogant son of a bitch. Some of this is editing, some of it is the fact that he's the best god damn video game player of our time. Several people I know have met Billy and say he is a nice guy in person. I say who cares, when you're that good, you can be cocky. Life's short, right?

In essence the movie is about a small town guy trying to dethrone a king, a god. To do the impossible. To defeat a score that has lasted almost 25 years and has never even been in any danger of falling. In fact, no one but Billy Mitchell has even beaten Donkey Kong. Will Steve be able to do it? Well if I told you that it would be like telling you Bruce was dead right at the beginning of a certain other movie. Takes a lot of the fun out of it don't you think?

So, in short, go see The King of Kong. It's great.