It was a DEATH defying birthday!!!!!

OK, sorry for the slow updates but hey, life is fun and blogging seems to fall lower and lower on my to do list.

So, I'm stuck in Texas during my birthday this year. No problem, I call Jolene and tell (ask) her to come and visit me so I won't feel so bad when I turn 31. She agrees and I set up a fun filled three day birthday fest.

When she flew in on Friday we went out to a fancy house that has been converted to a restaurant with my friend Adam and his wife Sharon. We have a great time and the dinner is excellent. Then we head home to pack and get ready for our trip to San Antonio and Corpus Christi.

The next morning we head out early and make the drive to SA. When we get there I have mapquested our way to the closest Apple Store to have them take a look at my MacBook (which has a crack in the case but nothing serious). It turns out the Apple Store is in a crazy nice shopping center with stores like the Sony Store and a store that sells only Pens. It is also designed like with a nice Spanish or old world Italian feel. Lots of fans in the walkways and overhangs to keep you cool. Very pretty and fun to walk.

Next we headed out and went to the Alamo because Jolene wanted to see it again. We did the whole tour and I still didn't get to see the basement. That makes two trips and still no bike.

Following that we headed to Sea World where they let us in free because I had a coupon. Good thing I did too as the tickets would have been over a hundred dollars! The shows at Sea World are awesome, but the acting is a little cheesy. After we saw all the shows, Jolene wanted to ride some of the roller coasters.

THIS IS THE DEATH DEFYING PART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So after we ride what we think are all of the coasters, Jolene wants to ride some of the water rides. It had started to rain earlier and we were already wet so I figured why not? We ride a couple and see one more roller coaster we hadn't rode yet and head for it. On the way there we notice the Texas Log ride. This is basically a plastic log that up to four people can fit in and it goes up a giant track and comes down the hill really fast, hits the water and you get off. Everyone has probably seen these things, they are really common at amusement parks. Anyway, Jolene says, hey lets hit that ride on the way back after we do this last coaster. I say sure, why not?

We do the coaster and head to the log ride. At the bottom of the ride are some water guns that are set up to shoot the riders if you put money into them. There was an older woman there putting money in to shoot at the people coming down slope. I decided to talk with her a minute before heading up the hill to the entrance of the ride. Jolene calls me and I turn to go. Just then I heard a loud crash and the woman I had been just talking to began to scream, "oh my god the cart didn't go, oh my god, oh god!" Hmm, I thought, that doesn't sound good.

I turn to see what had happened and I realize that the previous log had not gone around the track. Essentially, the next log had come down the hill at 60 mph, with two women and two children, and slammed right into it. Not a pretty sight. To make things worse, the next log was about to come down as well and cause even more trouble.

At this time the women at the water gun had figured out that the next log was about to drop down on these hurt people and began yelling at the picture people (the kiosk that sells your terrified image when you ride these things, I guess this one would be more interesting than most) to stop the ride and stop it now.

Without thinking to much (I knew this skill would come in handy one day) I leaped over the fence where the ride was and dashed toward the water track to help the people (cue Superman music).

Let me set the mood for you. It's about 9pm. It's dark. It's raining. The moon provided me no light as the water droplets hit my glasses, making what was going to be a crazy move even more dangerous. I'm running up to an unsecured crash site with injured people, where at any moment another cart could be crashing toward my body at 60mph, and I didn't even have the protection of being in a cart myself. Was I scared? Did I have time to feel the fear?

Damn right I did! My hands were shaking hard from adrenaline, cold, and straight up fear. I kept looking up the tracks to see if the next log was hurtling toward me, the blood was quickly leaving my head giving me that oh so dangerous grey tunnel vision. I couldn't pass out here, it would be a death sentence. I had to make it to the cart and get who I could out while I could.

I get there and the situation seems better than it should. It's an older woman unconscious, a younger woman dazed, and two 8-12 year old boys who looked fine. The boys didn't seem hurt at all, but the old woman's hand was a bit messed up. The younger woman came out of her daze and began screaming that her mom had diabetes and she was going to die! Diabetes I thought? WTF? Why would she die from a sugar disease? Maybe I have some candy in my pocket. I think my grandmother who has diabetes always carried candy for this reason. Why did I have candy in my pocket? Oh wait, it's not candy, it's gum. Oh damn, it's sugar free gum. Why do people think of weird things when in crazy situations? Like why am I thinking about candy when I could be mere seconds away from doing a grasshopper on a windshield impersonation! Oh yeah, I'm here to pull people out of danger! Fuck, get to it man!

OK, I snap back in. Now normally you don't want to move people who have experienced trauma like these people had due to neck injuries, but I figured if they stayed where they were, they would probably be experiencing even something a little more jarring than what I was going to do so I said fuck it. I grabbed the first kid and pulled him right out of the seat and tossed him as close to the fence as I could. Then I grabbed the second kid and started running toward the fence because that is when I saw next log peaking out above the top of the tracks. It was coming.

Oh fuck I thought, their mom is going to die. Just then the kid tugs my shirt and says, hey can you get my shoe? The impact and made his shoe fly off. Funny that. The impact, the shock, or just plain innocence didn't afford him the opportunity to realize that he was one lucky son of a bitch just to be alive. Well, years in foster care would give him time to think this moment over I thought. No not really, but it's classier to write that than what I really said which was "fuck your shoe, duck" to an 8 year old.

Well, either way I shielded him the best I could to at least take some of the shrapnel that I was sure was about to come flying our way when I hear the the water gun lady yell, "look, they stopped it, oh my god, thank god they stopped it!"

Holy shit came out of my mouth a few times as I headed back to the women in the cart. The old woman's hand was mauled up pretty good but the daughter seemed fine. Right then an employee with a walkie talkie showed up and "took control of the situation". By took control I mean she asked me to leave the area.

I was still shaking when I climbed the fence to get out of the way for the paramedics. I hoped back over the fence and started walking toward Jolene who was like, HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT!

I'm not sure those were her exact words, but that's the gist of it.

We start walking toward the park exit in the rain and she cautiously asks, "so do you still want to ride the Raging River ride? I mean we're already wet right?" I look her dead in the eyes and say, sure, why not, what's the worst that can happen?

Just as lighting streaks across the sky we hear over the loud speakers that Sea World is being closed early. Well I say, that must be a sign. With that we were off to our hotel room to shower and eat.

Why didn't I stick around? Wasn't I a hero? Nope, anyone would have done the same. Didn't I want Sea World to at least give me season tickets or something? No, after all, I had gotten in with a coupon. They didn't owe me a thing.