This just in, Mohammad's life not so interesting!
In other news, there is no other news. Not much happened in my life between yesterday and today. Well wait, I did finally switch to my new wallet.
For those of you that know me well, you know that me switching to a new wallet is akin to Halley's Comet passing through our solar system. What is going on is that I carry a lot of stuff in my wallet. I have the usual assortment of credit and identification cards, but my frugal nature forces me to carry and even larger assortment of discount and club cards.
Really, the average person probably has about 4-10, I have like 30. It's a case of my cheapness combined with my OCD. If there is a club card or some deal, I must have it. You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, back on task. My wallet. No normal wallet can possibly hold all of my shit at first. Like a virgin, the new, tight wallet cannot possibly hold even one half of my items when first purchased. I must stretch it out over the course of several days, sometimes weeks, two or three cards at a time to get every last deal card in there. Needless to say, this disrupts my daily life ten fold. It goes without fail that the one freaking time I need that 4th punch for a free watch battery at the Jewelry Service Center, I have left it at home because the new wallet could not hold (true story). This pisses me off to no end.
For this reason, and the fact that I get really attached to things, I rarely if ever change wallets. In fact, I only do it when I absolutely, positively have to do it due to:
1. The current wallet falling apart where it doesn't hold my stuff. This is almost solely the primary reason I will ever change a wallet.
2. I get drunk and vomit on my wallet. I attempt major clean-up efforts before discarding my wallet though. Sadly, I can only hypothesize about this being a reason I change wallets because in two different instances, I still chose not to do it.
3. My wallet gets stolen or lost. Never happened, but I suppose I would have to get a new wallet in this case. Maybe.
Well there you have it, the only three reasons I see for changing wallets. Well why you may be asking, did I change wallets today? Simple, reason number one. About 2 years ago the stitching on my wallet started to come undone. Seeing this as a great opportunity to by for my "notoriously difficult to buy for" ass, my cousin Laela jumped on the opportunity to buy me something useful from Christmas. That was back in 2002 I think. Anyway, yesterday I figured it was time to open the gift up and actually make use of it. That and the fact that my old trusty wallet was having problems holding my stuff pretty badly at this point.
As I was transferring roughly 40% of my items into my new cow hide, I realized that I didn't need half the shit I had. I decided to take a stand. Instead of stretching my new baby out like a truck stop hooker, I decided to try and eliminate some of the things I carry. I began by canceling 5 credit cards. That helped a lot, but the real problem still lay ahead of me. The club cards. Which club cards would get the chopping block and which would find a new life of luxury in my fancy pants new wallet? Did I really need a Safeway and a Weis card when I never shopped at either? Did I really need a Blockbuster card when the last time I was in there VHS ruled supreme? Gym membership? Have you guys seen how much weight I've gained the last few years? Do I really need an ATM card for an account that only carries $20-30 dollars at any given time?
All good questions. If I was sane, the answers would be easy for me. As it sits, I'm slowly stretching out my new wallet to accommodate the 'ole club cards. After all, you never know when you could earn a free fifth watch battery!
For those of you that know me well, you know that me switching to a new wallet is akin to Halley's Comet passing through our solar system. What is going on is that I carry a lot of stuff in my wallet. I have the usual assortment of credit and identification cards, but my frugal nature forces me to carry and even larger assortment of discount and club cards.
Really, the average person probably has about 4-10, I have like 30. It's a case of my cheapness combined with my OCD. If there is a club card or some deal, I must have it. You know what I'm talking about.
Anyway, back on task. My wallet. No normal wallet can possibly hold all of my shit at first. Like a virgin, the new, tight wallet cannot possibly hold even one half of my items when first purchased. I must stretch it out over the course of several days, sometimes weeks, two or three cards at a time to get every last deal card in there. Needless to say, this disrupts my daily life ten fold. It goes without fail that the one freaking time I need that 4th punch for a free watch battery at the Jewelry Service Center, I have left it at home because the new wallet could not hold (true story). This pisses me off to no end.
For this reason, and the fact that I get really attached to things, I rarely if ever change wallets. In fact, I only do it when I absolutely, positively have to do it due to:
1. The current wallet falling apart where it doesn't hold my stuff. This is almost solely the primary reason I will ever change a wallet.
2. I get drunk and vomit on my wallet. I attempt major clean-up efforts before discarding my wallet though. Sadly, I can only hypothesize about this being a reason I change wallets because in two different instances, I still chose not to do it.
3. My wallet gets stolen or lost. Never happened, but I suppose I would have to get a new wallet in this case. Maybe.
Well there you have it, the only three reasons I see for changing wallets. Well why you may be asking, did I change wallets today? Simple, reason number one. About 2 years ago the stitching on my wallet started to come undone. Seeing this as a great opportunity to by for my "notoriously difficult to buy for" ass, my cousin Laela jumped on the opportunity to buy me something useful from Christmas. That was back in 2002 I think. Anyway, yesterday I figured it was time to open the gift up and actually make use of it. That and the fact that my old trusty wallet was having problems holding my stuff pretty badly at this point.
As I was transferring roughly 40% of my items into my new cow hide, I realized that I didn't need half the shit I had. I decided to take a stand. Instead of stretching my new baby out like a truck stop hooker, I decided to try and eliminate some of the things I carry. I began by canceling 5 credit cards. That helped a lot, but the real problem still lay ahead of me. The club cards. Which club cards would get the chopping block and which would find a new life of luxury in my fancy pants new wallet? Did I really need a Safeway and a Weis card when I never shopped at either? Did I really need a Blockbuster card when the last time I was in there VHS ruled supreme? Gym membership? Have you guys seen how much weight I've gained the last few years? Do I really need an ATM card for an account that only carries $20-30 dollars at any given time?
All good questions. If I was sane, the answers would be easy for me. As it sits, I'm slowly stretching out my new wallet to accommodate the 'ole club cards. After all, you never know when you could earn a free fifth watch battery!
posted by Mohammad at
6:36 PM
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